Tag Archives: Love

Introducing…the L.O.V.E. Campaign

If you’ve been reading the news at all lately, you’ve read about violence against women. The recent stories from India, horrific stories about rape and murder, have brought the issue to international attention. An article from the New York Times reports that between 25,000 and 100,000 women are killed over dowry disputes every year in India. Because many dowry murders are often reported as accidents, the actual numbers may be much higher.
Statistics about domestic abuse in America show that in the South Asian community, two out of five women experience partner violence compared to one out of three women in the world, and three million total per year in the United States.  Despite what this and the recent news reports imply, violence against women in the United States is not particular to South Asian cultures. Wafa House says the numbers are higher in South Asian and Middle Eastern communities because of any number of factors – such as the language barriers and cultural restraints that prevent victims from knowing where to turn to for help.
To narrow this gap, we at Thaakat are excited to announce our latest campaign under the Break the Silence umbrella. Today, we announce the L.O.V.E. Campaign(VIEW DONATE OPTIONS HERE)!
With L.O.V.E., we aim to bring awareness to the increasing instances of violence against women worldwide. This Valentine’s Day, donate to our campaign in honor of a loved one, perhaps someone who has overcome the trials and tribulations of domestic violence or someone who holds this issue close to his or her heart. Awareness campaigns like these not only bring sharper focus to the issue, but they bring us one step closer to gender equality worldwide.
To join our efforts you can help us spread the word or you can make a donation. We will then send you an email requesting the information of the woman you would like to honor with this donation. There are three different levels of donation:
  1. For a donation of under $25, we will send an e-card to your loved one.
  2. For a donation of $25-99 we will MAIL an actual card to the loved one.
  3. For anything more we will mail a card AND a Break the Silence shirt to the loved one.
The proceeds of this fundraising initiative will directly benefit Wafa House, an organization founded by Dorria Fahmy and Nawal Kahf that is dedicated to strengthening the family unit. A majority of their work is dedicated towards assisting women and children victims of domestic violence. Wafa House provides a myriad of much-needed services such as a 24-hours toll-free hotline, social services, family counseling, and interpreter/translator assistance.

L.O.V.E

How Nudrat Met Thaakat

By: Nudrat Zoha | Social Media Guru | Thaakat Foundation
Two years ago this month, I found myself packing boxes in my basement after family, friends, and I had collected clothes and canned food to make relief packages for those affected by the floods in Pakistan. While I was happy to help the flood victims in this small way, I wanted to do more. It was this desire to bring about positive change on a large scale that led me to the Thaakat Foundation.
When I was asking friends for help, one briefly mentioned how some organization called Thaakat was also reaching out to the victims. That night, insomnia kicked in and YouTube failed to entertain me. I was wasting time on good ol’ Facebook when I remembered Thaakat. After ten minutes of thoroughly stalking the organization, looking at pictures, wall posts, and blog entries, I decided to send the organization an email. Uzma Bawany, the executive director, was quick with her response and we scheduled a time to talk.

Uzma invited me to Thaakat’s very first Charity Basketball Tournament, organized to help the victims of the Pakistani floods. Without any hesitation, I attended, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

At the event, I spent my time walking around the facility, paying special attention to the people there and how the event had been set up. I was surprised to see just how many people had attended. Even though I knew few people at the event, I felt at home with the crowd because at the end of the day we were all supporting the same cause. What also struck me was how everything – from the food to the entertainment to the financial management – was all handled by people roughly around my age. It was a great assurance to know there were others who cared about and were willing to help the less fortunate.
I remember going home after the two days feeling like I had taken part in something amazing. It was the same feeling I had felt after our care packages had been shipped off to Pakistan except it was magnified by one billion.
Just days after the event, I emailed Uzma and told her I wanted to help in any way possible. She must have taken note of my ultimate Facebook skills, because right away, she asked me if I would man Thaakat’s social media platform. Without thinking twice, I said YES!
It has been two years since I joined the board. I have made a hundred new friends, taken part in more volunteer activities than I can count, and eventually, I hope to spread peace, love, and happiness to millions through my one and only, Thaakat.

The Official #lethedreambe’ Trailer

Thaakat Foundation’s Creative Director, Denish Ghayal put together an eye-opening trailer for our #lethedreambe’ campaign.
This one minute clip shows how all of your contributions have played a role in the lives of these villagers in helping them get one step closer to their dreams.
Please share with your family and friends!
You may also donate through the Google Checkout link provided on our YouTube Channel.

Thanksgiving(s) At Hamdard Center

I would like to welcome you all to our 3rd annual Thanksgiving event with the elderly at Hamdard Center. Before sharing any further information I would like to commend all who reached out to volunteer. 

There are a few reasons why we have this event every year. The elderly at Hamdard visit the center a few times every week to spend some time in a social atmosphere which they unfortunately do not get enough of as they begin to reach older age.

They are so thankful that we visit, their faces light up in joy when we speak with them and share that we are there by choice. Often times you’ll catch them hug you as they leave or sing the group a song. I feel it’s important for us to remember where we came from, to be thankful for our culture and the wisdom past generations have shared. Our way of sharing thankfulness is by giving time to those who deserve it. Thank you to the Hamdard Staff for allowing us the opportunity and to our wonderful board and volunteers for being so kind and generous.

The events started with creative turkey crafting. Volunteers sat with the residents complete with tiny pom poms, glitter, leaves and construction paper and each crafted a turkey to match their personality. As time for a full turkey lunch arrived ( yum yum thanks to Italian Express, Devon Ave, Chicago IL) the residents rushed to finish their non-edible turkeys.
From perfect carvings, to the sweetest potatoes- the group enjoyed endless helpings of great food. Volunteers were more eager to serve than eat themselves and the elderly huddled around the tables to continue conversations before the hours were over.
As everyone neared full belly, the residents deemed it perfect opportunity to sing a few songs. In due time, we had our own Bollywood clatter in the room and the volunteers and residents shared some of their favorite tunes. There were a few Birthday’s in the room so the team even happily took to singing our very familiar happy birthday song and let that follow with a round of musical chairs!
Our volunteers were to the top of their limits with happiness, I mean the impact they had made came full circle almost immediately. Before the day was over, a few of the seniors even openly shared their thankfullness to the Thaakat Team.
Now my friends I ask you. If you knew that in a matter of 2 hours of your day, in your life, in your long year you were able to make such a difference in someone’s life, would you wait? We are hoping that word spreads over time and more youngsters realize their responsibilities to the community around us.  Make it happen kids, there is no better gift than giving.
Again Thank you Hamdard Center Staff and Director Kiran Siddiqui, Italian Express and all of our volunteers and board for making this happen.
Show your thanks, by making a difference.

What Mother’s Day Means In Desi Culture

By: Uzma Bawany/Thaakat Foundation/Thaakat@gmail.com

Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Birthday’s and all celebrations alike were always a big deal to me growing up. I felt like if there were a few days in the year where we could make a person feel special with the reverence of a small appreciative sentiment then we must take the opportunity.

Though many times when I discussed this with my Desi counterparts they claimed that their parent’s didn’t care for this stuff. That they shoo’ed away Birthday celebrations and there was no such thing as Mother’s and Father’s Day back home for them.  Bah-humbug, don’t let them tell you what they want, because really everyone wants to feel special no matter what. What this means in Desi tongue is: Our parents don’t really mean that they don’t want anything; they just don’t want you to spend money.

I know, us Desi’s, we’re not too good at showing emotion. Don’t ask us if we’ve said “I love you” to our parent’s growing up or remind us of the awkwardness of hugging our parents at graduation ceremonies (that was really the one time where it had to have happened). For this I blame our culture. They grew up in a tradition where they felt love was shared through the cooking of fresh meals, making your bed every morning and bragging to other parents about you. To them, love was shared through strength and not emotion. We grew up on this and gave our love by what we felt was getting good grades, being home on time and helping with the dishes every once in a while.

Now my friends, it’s time to grow up and embrace our relationship with our parents for what it really is. If it is not in the culture they grew up in, spoil them with hugs until they forgot what it was like before them. Talk to them and let them know they are just as important to you now in life as they were when you were a kid growing up. Save money on an outing this week and get something nice for your Mom for Mother’s Day.

As our parents get older it is important to splendor them with the care that they gave to us growing up. Our mom’s went shopping and came home with bags for us not herself.  Dad never bought nice meals for himself as he always saved for our allowances and school -and as kids many of us probably took this for granted.

Listen boys and girls, I’m not forcing you to change the way you do anything- I’m just asking you to think again if you already haven’t for this Mother’s Day! Do something special for your Mother and/or Father this weekend and don’t forget to consider your parent’s every day.

Here are some of my top picks for gift ideas for Mom:

  1. Take your Mom to Bed Bath and Beyond and fill her cart up with stuff that she’s been aching to get for the house.
  2. Every Desi mom loves New York and Company- for it’s modest style and flair. You will find everything here from bags, to sandals and nice summer shirts that she may entertain.
  3. Pedicure- If your moms are like my mom- they are always on their feet. In the kitchen non- stop, mostly running their feet flat on hardwood floor- they are in need of pedicures but will never take the initiative to spend money on one. Treat them to a spa certificate.
  4. Indian movie night- How often do you leave out for the movies and Mom’s left home alone? If your parents don’t oft go to the movies together, make a date night with the siblings and your mom and take her out to the latest hit decorated with dinner beforehand.
  5. Online shopping-it’s always nice to get a surprise package in the mail. There are great Mother’s Day gifts from personalized aprons to laser engraved wood cutting boards that you can order online .

How to Choose The One You Marry- Modern Day Advice for the Modern Day Lady

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a wife.”

–These are the opening lines of Jane Austen’s epic 19th century British novel Pride and Prejudice. Though written many years ago, the story still echoes in our culture today, especially within South Asian society. Well then let me say; it is a truth universally acknowledged that a smart woman in possession of a good heart must be careful and cautious in her selection for a good husband.

So you’re reaching that age- your parents want you to start thinking about that next big step in life: marriage, rishtas are coming to your doorstep, your friends and family are trying to set you up with potential suitors, do you choose that mechanical or electrical engineer? Ah, decisions, decisions. Today whether you meet someone on your own or are introduced through family or friends, the getting-to-know-each-other process can become a bit stressful. Aside from the obvious questions to consider like, do we share similar religious and moral values, is his Facebook profile normal (though be warned, sometimes Facebook can be a weak indicator of his normalcy level, though most of the time it’s a very good judge…), what’s his relationship like with his family, does he have a stable job, have ambitions, will he treat me the way a woman deserves to be treated, will he be a good husband, a good father, etc… in the midst of asking yourself all these questions, it’s easy to get tangled and confused.

A man can have a good heart ♥, kind eyes and be caring, but there are certain things that should never go ignored! You might say, but those qualities can outweigh everything else, can’t they? Well, those qualities are very important but there is so much more. And amidst all the crazy confusion, us ladies sometimes lose sight of what is right and it’s important just not to lose sight of who you are.

So I’ve compiled a list of a few things you must ask yourself when choosing a husband. Though some of the following statements may stick out to be obvious, we must not settle for just anyone who pours his heart out for us! You deserve only the best and you know exactly what you’re worth. Find someone who is worthy of you. You deserve someone incredible. Find your Mr. Incredible! And how do you do that? Ask yourself the obvious questions of course, but there are a few more things to really look into that should help with your decision, should you become confused:

1. Be with someone who makes you feel inspired. Surrounding yourself with people who open your mind and inspire you to make something of yourself is one of the keys towards personal growth. What can you learn from him? The guy you’re thinking about marrying should inspire you to challenge, question and act upon new ideas and passions. He should ignite that flame within you- to make something of yourself. And he should support your career decisions. The world is full of endless possibilities and rich knowledge just waiting for you to explore… it would be a waste to let it go ignored. A lifelong mate should be your enriching support system.

2. Be with someone who makes you want to be a better person, and vice versa. The guy you are considering to marry should make you want to become better person. Consider how you feel when your in his company and how you feel when your not. Make sure he is keeping you happy. Ask yourself the simple question, does he make me feel genuinely happy?

3. Physical attraction suddenly weighs less when mental, emotional and intellectual connections are missing. What’s the conversation like? Be with someone you can connect with on a deeper level than what’s on the surface. A good looking mate is great arm-candy and a nice self-esteem booster, but that materialistic feeling is only temporary and fades quickly when there’s not a deeper connection present. At the end of the day, it’s that deep connection the two of you have that will get you through thick and thin. Not his good looks. Remember, being physically attracted to one another is not a connection!

4. Listen to what he says about himself and how he says it, and then look at his actions. If they are contradictory, that is not a good sign. What he says about himself should be in line with how he acts. If he tells you he wants to become a better person, has changed his ways, yet does things that contradict these very words, he’s doing the opposite of what he told you. And us women are smart enough to realize when this is happening- do NOT ignore it! Listen to your intuition. A man should also not have to constantly put on a sales pitch for you to consider him. And if he does, those red flags that are holding you back are holding you back for a reason.

5. What does he YouTube? What a silly question, you might say. Ah, quite the contrary. This is a question that all too often gets overlooked but is imperative to consider when trying to key into his mind. Just like how you can tell a lot about someone by the type of people they have been with in the past, what a man YouTubes in his spare time can speak lengths about his mind. If all he does is YouTube pop starlets such as the Pussycat Dolls or Miley Cyrus, mentioning how fond he is of the 17-year old girl’s latest music video, that is a warning sign. You must pause and ask yourself: is this normal? Are we on the same level here? Are you really listening to more Lady Gaga than I do? By examining his YouTube habits, you can gain great insight into his mind- what’s there and what’s apparently not. If you find yourself questioning at any point, “Is that normal?” just know that it’s NOT. Do not ignore this red flag.

6. Don’t consider a guy who makes you feel like you’re on drugs. That dangerous and exciting feeling that feels so wrong you want to believe it’s right- is not healthy. When your friends ask you how he makes you feel and you respond by giving a drug reference, making yourself sound like an addict- that is a huge warning sign! John Mayer said it himself in describing his failed relationship with Jessica Simpson when he described her as a crazy drug he was addicted to. So dangerous it hurts.

7. If he is changing your morals and values for the worse, that is not healthy. You being the respectful lady that you are must show him your class by maintaining your dignity. If a guy makes you do or believe something that goes against your morals, he is not the right guy for you! It’s important not to get caught up in the moment or in the sweet words they speak. Being the classy lady that you are, you must never compromise what you believe is the right thing no matter what. Stand up and show him that you have certain values that deserve to be respected. You are a respectful and classy lady. He should treat you like one. In the end, his respect for you will only rise for not giving in. And if that doesn’t happen, then you have your answer: he was never the right guy for you. If you see you’ve given up certain values and morals that you previously always stuck to, that is not a good sign.

8. If you have a feeling that you can do better, do not ignore that feeling- it is there for a reason! Always listen to your gut! If you have a feeling that something better is out there or that you deserve better, don’t ignore that feeling. Also, if all your friends and family tell you that you can do better, they just might be onto something! Take what your friends and family say about him into consideration because they know you very well. Your close friends and family members will have an opinion about him. Do not ignore it. Take what they have to say into perspective even if it sounds ugly, for they want nothing but to see you happy and with someone you deserve. At the end of the day, you’ll be thankful. It’s easy to get blinded and sidetracked (and overlook things that otherwise should not be overlooked). Sometimes your friends and family hold solid viewpoints that should be taken into consideration.

9. No one is perfect and we all have flaws. Will you be able to put up with his flaws? If he leaves you confused or agitated after conversational exchange, this is not a healthy sign. If you are constantly tense or upset, do not ignore that. Marriage is compromise. What are you willing to compromise? Whatever it is, make sure that it is something you are willing to put up with and still makes you feel comfortable. There will be little things here and there that annoy you- that is normal. But ask yourself- is this worth it? Can love overcome this? Side note: love cannot overcome everything.

10. Look at what he does and not just career-wise. What are his extra-curricular activities? What does he do when he comes home from work? What does he do on the weekends? How much time does he spend with his family? It’s important to have a healthy balance in one’s life. If he does nothing and you are his everything- that is not healthy. If he does too much and has little time for you, that isn’t good either. No one is perfect but he should have things to do in his life that he enjoys apart from you and his career- whether it be sports, playing an instrument, reading, writing, a good circle of friends, support for a certain cause, or any other hobbies (Note: “Working out” DOES NOT count). What can he teach you? You should not be his one and only extra-curricular activity nor should you feel like he is always too busy. There should be a healthy balance.

11. Look at who his friends are. You are the company you keep!

12. Be completely honest and loyal to one another. Self-explanatory. Things you keep hidden on purpose will always find their way out.

13. Have mutual respect for one another. This is very important to building a healthy relationship. He should respect you and you should respect him. Mutual respect will lead to mutual love.

14. Lastly, constantly pray for guidance when a potential comes in your direction. You’ll be surprised at the signs God will show you. Always have faith and never stop praying. By placing your utmost faith in God, you’ll never lose sight of what’s right!